she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
