Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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