I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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