I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
