I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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