You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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