Will you blow on my dice?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
