I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
