Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
