your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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