Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
