I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
