if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
