Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
