The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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