I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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