So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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