People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
