I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
