After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
