god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm like, not good at living.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
