Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
