all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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