I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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