you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
