I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
