i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So much rum. So many feels.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
