Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
