Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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