Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
