It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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