I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
