why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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