im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
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