Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
