did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
