Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
