This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize