my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
A bitchslap is in order.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
