dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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