just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
