What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize