Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
