yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
