Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
