i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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