Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
