Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
