Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
