She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
