Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
