That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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