If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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