theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
