The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
