remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
