Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize