TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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