he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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