There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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