is your mom at the bar?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
