If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
