Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
