Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
